spoilt or spoiled?

Who knows.

So I was sifting through a book of thoughts & lists I kept a while back & I found this: an essay I wrote for no apparent rhyme or reason about spoiled children. I thought I'd share & get your ideas on the matter.


It is a commonly heard phrase among children that "once you grow up & become a parent you will understand." It is also commonly understood that children often times grow up to be just like their parents when it comes to choosing a spouce & raising children of their own. This is because writing one's future is all based on their past (or more specifically- their childhood). How one grows up is the standard, or norm, for that person. No matter how much one disagrees with their upbringing one is always comparing others to oneself & one's experiences. To put things in a scientific perspective (please excuse my nerdiness), the comparer is like the base unit- grams- and the comparees are like kilograms or micrograms, depending on if they are better or worse. Still with me?

In a long bound, this brings me to the topic of what is good, what is bad; what is right, what is wrong; what is spoilt, what is proper upbringing. In a large family, there are often bitter feelings among siblings over a parent "spoiling" one child more than another. The jipped child is angry because they feel like they're working harder to please & it is unfair that the spoilt child is being wronged by being let off easy. However, if the situation was reversed the now spoilt child would not feel guilty nor wronged at being treated nicer. Why, then, is the non-spoilt child so angry with the spoiled one? Answer: because they are jealous & hurt by the parents unconcerned feelings. This broked & neglected feeling follows the non-spoiled child into adulthood, where they address it by making sure not to spoil their children & snub parents who do.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, for an only-child or and always "spoiled" child, this "spoiling" isn't wrong - it's simply the norm. They often times are confused as to why the other children are mad at them (hidden jealousy) because the "spoiled" child hasn't personally done anything wrong. An only child is often times steriotyped as being spoiled only because they don't have to face the same hardships as other children (competition between siblings) and the only children are thus happier. When they grow up, their children are often "spoiled" too because the parent is remembering a nice & easy childhood & wants to pass it down. The parent does not see anything wrong with this because it is the norm- the base unit; there are harsher ways & more spoiling ways to do things but this is the way it worked for them so this is the way it will work for their children.

Sometimes there are family cases where no one is spoiled & everyone endures the same amount of hardship. In instances like these, there are two ways the adult versions of the children can turn out:
a) they spoil their children because it was the life the parent always dreamed of &
b) they make their children endure hardship because they are convinced they will build more "character" that way & eventually turn out better. But what is character?

In elementary school kids are required to learn all the pillars of character: trustworthiness, kindness, responsibility, etc. (I seem to have forgotten a few- oops!). But who really sets the standards for these? Christians would claim that everything can be measured by the bible, but for all the non-christians in the world, what is there to measure by?

Really, there is no right or wrong way to raise a child (assuming whatever one is doing is legal. MICHAEL JACKSON.) If the child is raised with love & are successful in anyone's eyes including their own, then they are successful no matter how much of a kilogram or microgram they are. Children grow up to be like their parents because it is what they were taught, and it is the standard embedded in them. However, every once in a while there is a breakaway child, or one who starts a new standard.

The breakaway child is brave. They are brave enough to acknowledge that there is no standard & therefore nothing to compare to. This means that the breakaway child will grow up without bias & raise their kids from scratch. What this world needs is more breakaway children. There is no such thing as "wrong" or "correct" when raising children. There is as there is & we need the breakaway to have a diversity in personality. Because part of upbringing is the way one thinks things out. Because personality is what keeps us human.

Em, January 2009

g.n.o.

Girls Night Out!

It's one of those things every girl and select few gay men need more than once in a while. In today's world, it seems like everytime friends just "hang out" everyone has a gender compromise. I'm not saying people do kinky things necessarily, what I'm getting at is that girls can't just be girls around guys.

Here's an example:

Sally, Thomas, Kyle, and Esther are hanging out together in Esther's appartment. Even though Esther doesn't particularly like football, that is what's on tv. One can't forget the first priority as hostess is to make sure the whole party is happy. For drinks there is light beer and for food it's "healthy" versions of all the junk food Kroger's has to offer. Do you think Esther would be entertaining the same way if it was just her and Sally?
In another world:

Sally, Tiffany, Kasey, and Esther are hanging out together in Esther's appartment. Even though Esther prefers Sex in the City, Desperate Housewives is what's on tv. Honestly, Esther doesn't care that much as long as there's some scandal involved. For drinks there are cocktails and for food it's red velvet cupcakes and carrot sticks to make up for the guilt one gets after scarfing four red velvet cupcakes.
Why isn't it like this when the guys are around? Because most guys don't like girly. THIS is why women need girls nights out.

image courtesy McCormick.com

So what does one do on a g.n.o.? Perhaps you haven't had one since you were twelve at your cousin Erica's birthday party. You could do pretty much the same thing as you did then (you can be young more than once!) OR you could do as I did recently: movie marathon plus gossip session. Talk about refreshing!

This post is going to be a long one, but through it I hope you are left ready to start a d.i.y. g.n.o.. And I'm going to abbreviate as much as possible so you don't feel like you're reading more now then you did all through school. Lets begin.

Plan Number One - The High Schooler
This is the g.n.o. plan my girlies & I recently went by and loved. Here it is in short:

1) Invite one or two girls over to help you set up. Using a cute cupcake tin, bake the cupcakes. If you are out of Red Velvet ingredients, you could use this recipe to get rid of that can of pumpkin you've had in your pantry since Thanksgiving. Here are the links to some beautiful cupcake molds: The Floral The Roses

For Icing: plain cupcakes - Cream Cheese Frosting | molded cupcakes - just sift powdered sugar over the tops to bring out the image.

2) Rent your movies. A movie marathon means more than one movie of the same topic or era. Here's my favourite- 80s/90s flicks! Examples include Bring it On, Weird Science, Can't Buy Me Love, Drive Me Crazy, 10 Things I Hate About You, Get Over It, and Sixteen Candles. More themes could include superheros, indie, James Bond, Kate Hudson, and zombies.

3) Assuming you've already got a tally of who's all coming via Facebook or a sixth sense, make sure there is enough to eat & drink. A good punch recipe can be found here, except replace the sugar with Splenda & the water with club soda. Voila! The closest thing to good since Britney stopped having children! (I don't know why I've been referencing her so much lately...)

4) Invite people in. Encourage people to talk before each movie, as to discourage irrelivent commentary. You get more than about four girls in a room with a girly movie and suddenly the tv volume can't get high enough. p.s. HAVE FUN!

Plan Number Two - The Spa Night

For those of you who don't like parties that last into the wee hours of the morning, this plan is perfect.

1) Get all your spa gear together. This includes nail polish, cucumbers, nail polish REMOVER, clay face mask, pretty towels (really, if your towels are ratty, ask a friend to bring hers or suggest everyone bring their own), and baby/massage oil. If you have anything particularly cool or interesting that you want all your girlies to admire and use, pull that out too. This would include one of those personal foot massagers, definately. I am jealous of everyone who owns one.

2) Everyone split up into partners. I suggest having all couples doing something different (it may get sloppy if twelve girls are fighting over one bottle of baby oil in their undies). Here is how to give a back massage, legit. Here is how to paint nails like a pro. Okay, have fun girlies!

Sorry it's sideways. Welcome springtime!

Piece, complete. Cheers.

do you have any grapes? how about a date?

Pickup lines.

How can something so cheesy still make a girl giggle into swooning? Granted, if some creeper walked up to you at a party and spouted out "Did you just fart? Because you blew me away!" I'm not sure swooning is what you would be doing the moment afterward. But really, where has that old-fashioned good-natured (and clean) hitting on girls gone?

Modern day example of our loss found in the TV show House:

"So I'm thinking we should have sex." Cameron (f) surprises Chase (m) with this statement, rationalizing that neither of them really have time for a relationship. I'm sorry Cameron, but make time! It's so worth it! (Later in the show these two end up engaged. Hmm.)

We need to work on this problem. Television and radio has left women believing that anything cliche coming from a guy's lips is no bueno. But sometimes corny is cute, we just need to (as the women population) give it a chance.

Here are my favourite lines:

-Hi, I'm [name] and you are...gorgeous!

-Can you catch? because I think I'm falling in love with you.

-You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other girls look really bad.

-Is your father a boxer? Cause you're a knockout.

-Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

-If your parents hadn't met I'd be very a very unhappy man right now.

-Can I borrow a quarter? "What for?" I want to call my mom and tell I just met the girl of my dreams.

-Date me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gertrude?

-[hand her a sugar package] Here, you dropped your name tag.

-Do you think I need my library card? Cause I'm checking you out.

-Hey, don't I know you? Oh yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile.

courtesy of Top 80 Clean Pick-Up Lines

Cute. Now just forward these to all your guy friends. Go.

Jordan

Digital Photograph

2007

Third piece, done.

Cheers,

Em

autumn: hello leaf.

Fall. The perfect season. Allergies are down, cool weather is up, and there are more three-day weekends than any other season save summer. Actually allergies may be up, I wouldn't know. Maybe if you're allergic to leaves...

With the first day of autumn finally greeting us eager bodies, I would like to reply with a quote:

"Spring passes and one remembers one's innocence. Summer passes and one remembers one's exuberance. Autumn passes and one remembers one's reverence. Winter passes and one remembers one's perseverance.” Yoko Ono

And, as a closing note to you aggies out there: when was the last time YOUR school colour was a season?! Hook 'em horns!

New Mexico Sunset
Photograph
2008

Piece number two, check.

peanut head

Weird title? Thanks. It's cause I couldn't think of a good one.

Anyhow, as I promised, I am posting some of my artwork. I have tons (that's what going to art school does to me) but I think I may just drag this post on by showing pieces one at a time. For those of you who hate art and prefer my warped opinions that I so often push onto y'all: stop freaking out. I'll still write regular stuff, too!

Voila! Piece number one. Score.

Printmaking Room Contour

felt pen

18x24 - 2007

Well. That's a nice taste. Maybe I'll post more when I'm not busy hiding from the smelly substitute. Maybe.

Cheers,

Em

P.S. "Contour" means one line. Fyi.

oops! ...i did it again

"Oops! ...I did it again. I played with your heart. I got lost in the game." I thought this Britney reference worked well since she's coming into town soon. Yay! But before we get too off-topic, I would just like to say this post isn't going to be about Britney Spears. It's also not about boys (yet). I just wanted to apologize for putting my blog back on the shelf of no return. [reference post #1]

Here's the scoop: I created the beginning the first week I got grounded this summer. I had absolutely nothing to do save summer homework. I had TONS of summer homework, but who does that stuff anytime before the last possible three days to do it? Anyway, once my parental given house arrest was complete I became unfaithful to you guys and only logged in to check for comments. I really want to start this thing up again, though, so keep reminding me that you actually read it!

p.s. I hope to put some of my art up soon for you guys to look at & comment on :)

Cheers,
em

hey man, nice tat

Tattoos. The notion of placing permanent ink under one's skin via needle brings up very polar reactions in people. Half are disgusted, half are in awe. Half think they're really neat on other people but wouldn't dream of getting one themselves (three halves- work with me here). Really, it all comes down to what the tat is, where it is, and how large it is. How far is too far? What is socially acceptable nowadays? I'd like to explore different tattoos and get your opinions.

image courtesy of CounterNotions

This kind of tattoo has been around for a while, though not many people today have braille tattoos. The skin is actually lifted due to something placed under it. In the image, the method is used as braille, however that was not the original purpose. Some African tribes would use this technique to convey one's religious beliefs. The old way was to place little bits of gunpowder under the skin, but now scientists have come up with more sterile irritants.

image courtesy of NuBlog and Photobucket

I don't know if the tongue is real, but it would be awesome if it was. I wonder if things taste funny..?

People are finding new weird places to put tattoos. Because in short a tattoo is a form of self-expression, the more unique the better. Of course, there is a fine line between unique and downright odd...

Because everyone idolizes their celebrities, once the famous started donning tats they became more socially acceptable in some circles. Here are some cool ones:



Victoria Beckham

Angelina Jolie

Nicole Richie

images courtesy of Hebrew Tattoos, Angelina Fans, and Boston

I guess people's opinions on tattoos all come down to the tattoo. (Don't worry, I doubt the baby's is real.)

images courtesy of Walyou and Popular Pics

What are your feelings on tattoos?